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To clear things up NOW, you are not ugly. Actually, you are the total opposite! You are so beautiful beyond measures! Everyone knows you need a catchy title right?
However, this title is true in a way. There are so many women that suffer from not feeling “beautiful.” Listen you gorgeous queens, please understand this. Beauty is not looks. GASP! I know. One more time, beauty is not looks, it’s what comes from within. Yeah yeah I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s the truth.
This happens to me all the time. I’ll give an example.
Have you ever saw a “beautiful” woman but then you also saw her personality? Very ugly. I mean, stuck up, rude, disrespectful and just plain ol’ MEAN!
Then when you look at her physically, she is not that “beautiful” anymore. Has that ever happened to you? The reason this is…another cheesy saying.
BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER!
With that being said, the lesson is beauty is coming from within! So what are you doing on your daily life that makes you feel not so hot? Did you know that every woman has a spice to her? Age and looks have nothing to do with it!
However, most woman dedicate our lives to our loved ones. In return, we forget to take care of ourselves and we honestly forget what makes us happy! We just become a MOM. I’m a mother myself and it’s the best role in the world. However, we forget that we are a WOMAN first! In order to take care of the motherly role, or wife role, we need to take care of our WOMAN role first!
1. THE MEDIA
Shocker! Personally, I can’t stand the media. Once you understand how powerful your mind is, you try so hard to protect what influences it. The media is pouring so many false information and emotions that people don’t even realize that they are being brainwashed. They have placed an image of what “beautiful” and “sexy” look like. Because of that, they have now planted that seed in ALL of our heads, as a society, we believe that to be true. How insane, huh?
MY ADVICE: Understand that they are building a society this way. Don’t take it personal. But be strong enough to know this. Hopefully I can spark something in your head the next time you go to your local store or when you get on your social media. You will see all around you advertising appealing and sexualizing woman in some sort. All woman are beautiful in their own way whether you are big, small, wide, narrow, big chest, little chest, big butt, little butt, blond, red, black, white, you get my drift!
Yup, now it’s time to look in the mirror. There are so many woman that don’t like the way they look. Maybe the weight? Maybe features of the face? Hair? You name it. Woman are so critical of themselves, it’s really insanity. However, most of the things we don’t like about ourselves, we can change ourselves! You think you’re fat. Welp, why are you NOT going to the gym? You would much rather complain about it while getting fatter?
Okay so you have acne. I know how it feels first hand! One word, DESPERATE! You feel as if everyone is looking at your face and not you. But you continue to sleep with makeup on and eat fast foods. What good is that doing?
So do you get my drift here? What you put in, is what you will get out. It’s hard. Trust me! But that is also why some people would much rather sit there and continue to complain or just simply not love themselves, because that my friends is a lot easier! Don’t do what’s easy, do what’s right! \
Last example will be something we can’t change like our stretch marks. They are here to stay ya’ll! With that being said, understand and train your mind to not view them as being ugly or unattractive? Start viewing them as memories. I wear my stretch marks very proudly. I think they are beautiful! I’m pretty sure 80% or more of the female population has at least one stretch mark. This is not rare. It would actually be rare NOT to have any.
MY ADVICE: Always take care of yourself. Invest in yourself because you are worth it! If you don’t like something about yourself, change it! If you can’t change it, then accept it. It’s who you are and that is what makes you beautiful!
Speaking first hand, my old job took such a toll on me, not just emotionally but physically as well! Sure there were plenty of good little things, but the bad totally outweighed those goods. My analogy is having a lot of grapes (goods) vs. having that one watermelon (bad). Sure there is more grapes than watermelon. But which one is weighing heaviest on you? Exactly my point! I use to come home, without really realizing, maybe I was just too tired to realize that I would take my frustrations out on my family! I felt horrible!!! What I felt inside was not good, in return I spread that around my loved ones. NOT WORTH IT! Remember, beauty comes from within. If you feel like crap, then when you look in the mirror you are going to see crap. That’s just the way it works.
MY ADVICE: If you’re not happy where you are at. It’s not worth it! There is no money in the world that can amount to your happiness. Yes, I know, you need this job to feed your family. I get it. But MY ADVICE is to change your thinking! As weird as this may sound, think of all the positive things you like from your job. Tell yourself everyday that you will find a job with these same positive qualities plus more! By doing this, you will attract that opportunity for you to get the hell out of there! FEEL GOOD TO LOOK GOOD!
So our significant other plays a big role in this feeling beautiful nonsense. Why? Well, because we want to look good to attract people. It’s the truth. So when you are first starting out in a relationship, how were you? Very put together, huh? Made sure your legs were shaved, nails done, hair was done, teeth brushed and flawless makeup. You cared about your appearance. However, after a few years and some kids, you forget that feeling. Everyone does so don’t feel bad. It’s called life. Love should be a place of comfort and that is something we all do very well, get comfortable. After a while, we don’t feel the need to impress one another, eventually loosing that spark that you once had. This in return will eventually slow the complements down as well as the affection. Not all the time, but some time. As we all know, woman strive for complements from our men.
ADVICE: Get yourself together! Meaning, put some make up on, wear cute clothes (not jeans and a t-shirt), do your hair other than a messy (I just woke up) bun. Get yourself together girl! Remind him of the woman he feel in love with! This will spark something let me tell you! Nothing feels more reassuring than your man telling you how amazing you look! Big confidence booster.
I know that sounds depressing. But there are millions of mothers out there right now that live for their children. That came out wrong. I live for my children as well! However, I want to live for myself too. GASP. A mother living for herself? YES! It’s healthy. Like I said earlier, we spend so much time living our lives for others, dedicating our time and energy for others that we forget to take care of our self! Then wonder why we always feel tired and overwhelmed.
You live your life on repeat. Wake up early, get ready, drop kids off at school, go to work for the whole day, deal with crap, stuck in traffic to pick kids up, go home to cook and clean, get kids ready for the the next day then go to sleep to do it all over again. People, is this really life? I know you have to ask yourself this? You have too! There is no way you can live as a zombie and think it’s life!
ADVICE: Do something for yourself! It can be the most random thing in the world! Take an art class, a dancing class or even a karate class. Step outside of that comfort zone to find what makes you happy! Don’t want to spend any more money? Try yoga, walking, writing, reading, dancing, the list can go on and on. Having trouble? Think back to when you were a kid, what did you love to do? That’s where you can start! Realize that life is passing you by and you are not having that anymore! Make that change!
We love our family and friends. They are there for us, love us and support us. Well hopefully they do. However, sometimes they make slick comments and make fun. Yeah yeah it’s all fun and jokes, but at the same time it hits home. It’s a truthful joke. It can hurt. Especially when it’s something you are already feeling insecure about. Not just that but it seems that the joke that your best friend made sticks with you more than the strangers that said it. Reason behind why your inner circle can do more damage than good.
Has that ever happened to you? At a family outing and your aunt jokingly makes fun of the new haircut you just got? You laugh it off, sure the joke was funny, but it leaves your heart stinging a bit.
ADVICE: If you can cut people off, do it! They’re toxic. However, if you can’t get rid of them (like your aunt) just learn to accept that you will come across many people that have a lot to say about others. AND I should also mention the fact that you need to bring up your concerns. Sometimes many people don’t even realize the damage they’re doing it, especially if you’re the type to laugh it off. Communication can be pretty amazing.
Like I continue to say, everyone is beautiful! Sure you may not have those plump lips she has, but you have amazing eyebrows! Sure you may not be as skinny as she is but you have something he can hold, if you catch my drift! People are so focused on what they don’t have and what they lack that they don’t see all the amazing qualities they do have! Not to mention that you are putting so much focus and attention in all the things you lack, that you will only attract more qualities that you just don’t like. It’s the law of attraction.
ADVICE: You have to learn to be grateful! Period. You are gorgeous, sexy, beautiful and so very pretty! It’s about time you start acting like it. Everyday look in the mirror and point out all the qualities you do love about yourself because you have multiple! Is it the color of your hair? Eyelashes? Lips? Skin? You have so many positive things to be grateful about!
Remember all of these are just factors in what can make us feel ugly. Whether it’s the media shoving nonsense down our throats to funny yet hurtful jokes to how we are feeling inside with our daily activities. Point is, you need to be aware of these factors to protect your inner beauty and emotions. It’s special. You’re special.