What To Do About A Short Temper

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You know when you get mad at the smallest things?

When your husband doesn’t take out the trash on time?

That simple conversation,  yet a frustration turns into an argument.

When your kids spill their drink on the floor.

A one minute clean up, yet you’re yelling.

Road rage?

Quick snaps?

0 to 100, real quick?


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All these little signs of short temperament can be deeper than just a quick snap.

But deep down inside you already knew that.

For those of you that have been aware of this for quite some time now,

you have been paying attention to others around you.

What do they react to? How do they react?

Although we should never EVER compare ourselves to anyone because we are

perfect just the way we are. However, it is okay to become aware of mistakes.

When you start paying attention to see how others do it, you’re only trying

to understand why it is you do it differently.


Here could be some reasons WHY you have a short temper



I feel like majority of cases always leads back to childhood. Your anger does not have to lead back to having a bad childhood. Not at all. However, dig deep and try to remember how your parents were. If you have a short fuse with your spouse? Children? At work? Well, try to remember the two most influential people in your life growing up. You see, we are creatures of habit. What we see, what we hear is what we will grow up doing without being fully conscious of it.

Personally, I had an amazing childhood. Both my parents were there for me, loved me unconditionally and supported me in everything I did. However, the relationship between them was very toxic. They use to yell and fight in front of me all the time. Luckily they did get a divorce and moved happily on. Fast forward to a my life with my children, I use to yell a lot too. Unfortunately, I use to argue with my fiancé in front of our kids too. Nothing extreme like my parents, but it’s still wrong. Then I realized that as a child, I hated feeling that tension, the fear. That’s why I became aware.

Here is also another reason why I would get mad at the little things. Not only am I repeating the same old habits I saw growing up but I make a big deal out of nothing? Like literally nothing. Am I trying to purposely make it extreme…unconsciously?





We all deal with stress. One way or another, we have our own battles to deal with. Not just that, but we take it all in very differently from the next. Some women love to eat their emotions why others starve themselves. Both are wrong, but each individual copes very different. We’ve all met or deal with a person who is mad at someone or a certain situation, NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, yet they take it out on you? Punching bag or what? Maybe you’re the one doing this? Stop! First off, it’s not nice treating the people you love as a punching bag. I know it may make you feel better, but you are only transferring that bad energy to the people around you.

Stress is a pain in the butt, but learning different ways to deal with stress is key.



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Have you ever broken your day down by the hour? Exactly what I mean.

8 hours of sleep

2 hours to shower, get ready for the day

3 hours to eat throughout the day at minimum

2 hours to cook the food

8 to work

= total amount is 23 hours.

Sure yeah I know everyday is different. But just to put into perspective that we don’t really have too much time to focus on what we love to do. Most people work an 8-5 job that they despite because there is no other option. People don’t take care of themselves, whether it is physically, mentally or spiritually. Remember early I said we are creatures of habit? Welp, there you are. Creating a life, a routine that literally sucks the life out of you. All your energy has now shifted into someone you have just now became content with.

You are now not motivated when you wake up, you want to lean over and hit that snooze. Actually, most just want to throw it out the window. Laying in bed, looking at the ceiling like, “WHY?” Throughout the day, your tired, drained but push through the motions. Yeah I know, I was once there before too. It’s sad.




Okay, there is nothing wrong with being a control freak. Some people are just programmed very differently from others and there is nothing wrong with it. Some people just like working alone oppose to working with a group. We learn this in school. However, the good thing is that control freaks know that they are control freaks. The best thing to do with this is, number one, become aware of what you’re doing, how you’re doing it and when you’re doing it. Finding that balance within yourself. Understanding that not everyone has the OCD wire like you do and that is okay too.

They left the cap off the toothpaste, drives you crazy because you told them about 50 million times, but nothing to stress over about. Nothing to yell about. Nothing to work ourself up about. It’s all about meeting people half way. Whether kids, spouses, family or friends. Any relationship takes two.



You know what I do with my fiancé? I don’t consider myself a control freak and I’ve never been called that. However, I want a clean, decent looking house at all times. With that being said, I couldn’t stand my fiancé leaving his dirty clothes all over our bathroom, expecting me to pick up. I’m a future wife, not a maid. You feel me? Anyways, I did bring out his hamper into the main bathroom, instead of the closet, so that it would be easier for him to put his clothes where they belong. I know, I’m such a good future wife (:

Well, even though I made it like 100 times easier to pick up his clothes. I will give him credit that he has done SO much better. However, I still get that one sock that didn’t make it in. You know, almost as if he was trying to shoot it and he barely missed it? Well…I compromised because that’s what marriage and relationships are all about. I told him that if I see another sock on the floor I was going to cut it up and use it for my homeschooling, possibly a puppet. Since then, there has been no socks on the floor. You see what compromising does? (;





These are just four main reasons that I thought of. There could be so many others. However, whatever it is, it seems like it always leads back to these four core reasons. Especially the childhood one.


Most of us never really tap into our childhood memories, let alone our daily lifestyle. How was mom, how was dad? What was it like when they interacted with one another? How did they talk to their employees or boss? How did they react when getting mad or happy?



Personally for me, although I had a great childhood growing up. I did put many things, many memories I guess I didn’t want to remember all the way in the back volt that is hidden far out into the galaxy. It’s still there, subconsciously, but it’s there. You just need to really dig down and think. It may take days or even weeks to piece together your “WHY” but I’m telling you it will be worth it.


I believe that you need to know your “why” before you can figure out your “how”. It’s logical.

How can you figure out the steps to becoming a better you if you don’t know why you even function the way you do?

Makes sense right?




What else can you do to help your short temper?

  • So the main thing you can do to help is like I said above, dig deep! Find your why.


  • Stress…easier said than done, huh? Yeah I know. But you really do need to start becoming aware.

Aware that some things you just can’t control. Aware that life is really too short to be getting mad,

especially at the small stuff. Cut out things or even people in your life that are just NO GOOD. Wanting

to attract your dream life starts with a good circle and good environment.


  • You can learn to become aware and think more positive. This does not happen overnight, more like many

failures and corrections to finally get it flowing as your primary thinking. Practice makes perfect!


  • Maybe you need more sleep. DELTA sleep! No TV, no light, no phone. Just peaceful, dark and quiet room to

help your body produce the melatonin and help your brain relax. You can read here why I barely even watch

TV anymore. When you become aware of how powerful your mind is, you will only want to feed it positivity.


  • Learn to compromise.


  • Learn how to get your message across in a different language. Duh, I know we all speak English. But that

doesn’t mean that everyone understand you. You have to speak in their language.


  • One of my favorite topics…health. When you physically take care of yourself, you are taking care of

your mind and of course, spirit. No, I’m not talking about working out, which that is also a big plus.

I am more so talking about your nutrition. Notice I didn’t say food. People’s “food” has one thousand

definitions. I see my food as nutrition. What I put into my body I know I will get out. Does your food

give the human body the daily essentials to thrive? If your not vegan, then probably not. Wanna learn

WHY VEGAN?  Or who is vegan that you love and admire? Maybe you can be inspired by this one.


Anyways a quick example is 75% of Americans are deficient in Vitamin D! Read more here. A vitamin your body gets from being in the amazing sun. An essential vitamin that helps the body absorb calcium that helps make the bones strong and promotes growth for our young ones. It helps boost our immune system, it decreases the amount of certain diseases, it reduces depression!!! And of course many other things.

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Some symptoms of being Vitamin D deficient is feeling tired, depressed, not feeling so good, aching, pain, etc.

Full disclosure, I am not a doctor! YET (2020!!)

But I must say, It blows me away how quick these trained doctors are so quick to prescribe depression medication to people who walk in having troubled times instead of taking lab work to see what they can adjust naturally. Instead they chemically unbalance millions of Americans by prescribing millions of drugs. You would be shocked with what a healthy nutrition can do or even a vitamin can fix!

But no, that’s not what they were trained to do. The industry would loose a lot of money.



I gave vitamin D as an example. But my friends there are so many other natural ways to reduce your short temper if you are lacking energy.




About The Author

Stephanie Coto

Life is whatever you want it to be. First you need to change the way you think. My name is Stephanie. I’m a mother and women who want to inspire other queens out there.

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