Marriage MUST Come Before Parenting

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Why do you think marriage should be before parenting? It’s simple, yet we have forgotten. How many of us argue with our spouse because of our children? Maybe we didn’t like how they handled a situation or their tone of voice. It could possibly be “promise” issues that are not being followed through. Regardless of the situation, I’m sure at one point or another all parents have argued over raising their children.



Which is absolutely normal to do. Two minds coming together to meet the needs of another. Sure there will be questions and concerns. But no matter how tough or rough it gets, let me remind you WHY marriage NEEDS to come before parenting.



The way I like to describe it is a tree. Yup, just a tree. Your marriage is the tree trunk. Your love, communication and foundation are the roots of the tree. Mind you that roots absorb the water that you feed it so it can grow and maintain strong. The whole reason why the trunk is even there to begin with. Just like water, we need to feed our marriage with love, communication and support in order to grow and be strong. And of course the branches and leaves represent our beautiful family that we have grown together. Wow, I can see why they call it the “tree of life”. What a different viewpoint.

These are great reads! Building your family should always be priority!


family, tree, big, parenting, children,



It can be tough being on the same team. Especially when there is two all star players. It’s hard to let one player make the play, right? This is okay. It’s normal. However, let me remind you that this is more of an individual problem more than anything else. Needing to feel in control? Needing to be in control? Is it your way or the high way? We need to put this at rest because it’s doing more harm than it is good.


Let me explain the different reasons


Why marriage MUST come before parenting!


Your marriage makes up the home you’re giving to your children. I’m not talking about your physical home either. I am talking about the overall comfort and security you give to your children. The vibes they get off of mommy and daddy’s connection is the setting foundation for it all! If mom and dad hate each other what type of environment do you think you’re setting? Oppose to a loving and welcoming relationship, the home you are giving your children is going to be loving and warm.



Although most parents can’t stand the thought of our babies growing up and having families of their own. It’s the reality. One day they will have a spouse (that will be just like his/her mom/dad) that will end up marrying and having children. Sure this is years away. The point is, our babies will leave the nest. The only two left in that nest will be mommy and daddy. Back at square one. So what type of friendship have you guys built throughout the years?



You’re giving your children security! Let’s put it this way. Would you like to live in a sturdy house? Or in a little hut? When the storm comes in, which house do you prefer to be in? My point exactly. Children don’t want to feel like it’s going to end any minute now. Or even the “here we go again.” Without children even fully understanding this, they want security from your relationship. If you guys are okay, then they are okay.



The communication between mommy and daddy will be one of the most valuable lessons you can give them! Your children will see the way you guys react and communicate with one another. Good or bad! They will see the teamwork or NO teamwork that is in the relationship. Not just that but they will also catch on to the equality. What are men “suppose” to do and what are women “suppose” to do.



So like I said in one. Our marriage will be the setting foundation to what they think or expect from a marriage. As much as we love our children, don’t you want to see him/her get married to someone wonderful? Who loves your child as much as you do? Respects, loves and cherish your child like no other. I think any parent would wish that for their child. Well, you can make your wish come true by setting THAT example.



The thicker and stronger the trunk, the more healthier and fuller the leaves and branches are. Right? This is because you understand what it takes to build and maintain a strong family. Instead of focusing on your leaves to help nourish and support it to grow. You should be focusing on the root cause.



I truly believe that parents are the first teachers to our children. The beautiful thing about it is that we don’t purposely try to teach our kids. Our everyday actions, thoughts and words teach and guide our children. Which way we guide them is all up to the parents.


PARENTS! Work on watering your tree. That is key to parenting. Communicating, loving and supporting one another is all you need to work on to build a strong beautiful tree.




Related links:

Communication in relationships 

12 dates that will spark up your marriage 

Every successful family has a FAMILY MISSION STATEMENT 



About The Author

Stephanie Coto

Life is whatever you want it to be. First you need to change the way you think. My name is Stephanie. I’m a mother and women who want to inspire other queens out there.

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