So you decided to stay home.
You brave, yet lucky YOU!
I’m a stay at home mom myself and I have learned all the pros and cons that
many people don’t really talk about.
Because let’s be honest, it can be hard to not feel stuck!
In the comfort of your own home, who needs to change? Who needs to step outside their zone?
Raising children, it becomes hard to have or even know what an adult conversation is.
It may seem like you have more time, but in actuality, you really do have all that time.
You are just so use to using your time on auto pilot that you can’t get your brain to
switch over to a manual drive.
It’s not as bad as it sounds.
Because once you cross those barriers of average stay at home thinking,
you can learn to love life and thrive!
I am talking about all the mommies that decided it was time to quit to stay home with the kiddos. First, let me applaud you because that is always the best decision to make for your family. Second off, if you are one of these mommies that switched over to the stay at home mommy club from working a 9-5. You need to understand that your life up until this point has been scheduled. Meaning you wake up at a certain time to go to a job for about 8-10 hours a day. You begin to have a sense of mentality where everything seems to want a routine. Routines are not always bad, but when it comes to stay at home moms, there is an exception.
You have to break your old mental routine to gain and a better one.
Change your mental state. You own every 24 hours you have from now on. You are on no ones time anymore, you are on your own. What you choose to do with your time is up to you. My best advice is to plan out your day, week and month. You especially need some goals in mind so you can work towards something.
Many women, including myself don’t realize this huge mistake we make going into this.
Our children and family become our job. So eventually, mothers mentally take on motherhood as an underpaid job that they love so much! Doesn’t get you too far, not to mention you will eventually get drained and worse than working a 9-5 job.
But here’s the trick. Your mental state. Once you understand that your children is not a job, not employees and definitely not your boss, things will change for you. You need to see your children as just that, children that need parenting.
By parenting, I don’t mean giving them a tablet and let them sit in their room the whole entire day either.
Being a parent. Prioritizing your time to spend time with your children is everything!
Let me give you the biggest reason why moms shouldn’t see their stay at home duty, as a job. Let me break it down. When you worked a 9-5, you devoted almost half of your day to someone else or for a company. Within those hours, or even after hours, most likely you did not take care of yourself. Mentally, physically or spiritually, causing a lot of issues. And now what you are doing is transferring those same bad habits to your stay at home life.
Then expecting a different feeling or result because you are at home?
Doesn’t work that way. Fill your cup up first ladies!
This phrase. Coming from a man or another woman who doesn’t even have kids? ***Rolling eyes.
Being a stay at home mom requires chef skills, teaching skills, therapy skills, cleaning skills, coaching skills as well as love and patience. If I am missing any other hats to this description, you get the point.
Multi tasking is our nature. We can be in the kitchen cooking but still hear when a child is crying. Your back can be turned but you know when your child is messing with something they shouldn’t. Do you think every mom has these ability? Absolutely not. It’s something that is practiced and mastered.
So I know many people think a mom cleans a living room up and she’s done. But what people fail to understand is that when she goes to the bathroom to start picking up, the living room is getting destroyed that same second. That’s just a little dilemma we deal with, on a daily.
So we technically clean 31231588724 a day.
Keeping a clean house is very intense.
How can someone who stays home all day, not keep a house clean. It’s always the subconscious speaking. It’s almost as if that was in the job description or something. So it’s one of those obligations that you can’t really mess up on.
I may be wrong, but to me it’s like giving a mail man, mail to go deliver.
He comes back after an 8 hour day with all the mail in his bag.
WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY!?
YOU HAD ONE JOB TO DO!
I’m laughing thinking about it, but this is how I personally feel about it.
All the days that I felt lazy and didn’t clean the house, I felt like such a lazy person. Laying in bed at the end of the day asking myself, what did I do today and realizing I didn’t do anything is the worst, yet best feeling!
I will be the first to admit that I stopped putting on my face once I stayed home. I’m actually lying. I stopped putting on my face once I realized that I was wasting make up just to wear around the house. Why would I spend extra valuable time to put make up on? My family won’t even know the difference. Right?
WRONG! Our makeup ladies is deeper than showing it off to people. Our make up makes us feel self confident, accomplished, pretty and in control. We need to get ourselves up and ready to get ready for the day. Even if it’s a day that will be spent inside the house all day.
Now please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. No woman, ever, EVER, needs makeup to be pretty. NO WOMAN! And I am also not saying that you need to wear makeup every single day. Because I don’t. But hey, mascara, eyeliner or lipstick will cut it for those lazy days. It will actually get you out of the slumps.
Yes ladies, we take out our frustrations on our loved ones. We need to stop this. Many don’t mean to do this or even know they’re doing it. After a long day with the kids, cleaning with a whole bunch of crying and yelling. Mentally, it can be exhausting because this “job” as a mother doesn’t end. It doesn’t have a clock out time.
So by the time our significant other walks through the door, we are looking like a hot mess. Our face probably has “DON’T MESS WITH ME” written all over it! Then him, with so much fear ask how was your day?
Regardless of how you answer, this mood, this energy and vibe that is inside of you needs to vanish.
Waking up to pee on the bed.
Fresh cup of milk, spilled all over the clean mopped floor.
Never ending loads of dirty clothes.
Someone bumped their head for standing on the chair.
This list can seriously go on.
These moments throughout the day come with the biggest
siiiiiiiigh in the world! WHYYYY!
So what happens, we bottle up these really little frustrations in a day and we usually take it out on someone who doesn’t deserve it. So what can we do instead? Well, there is no point in talking to our significant partner about this because they will not understand. You’ve probably already tried it and didn’t get the response you wanted or needed!
This is what you do. Find a hobby. A genuine hobby you like and let that energy out over there. Your hobby will be your “go to” remedy. Painting, dancing, writing, singing or even cleaning.
Having a written menu for what you’re going to eat for that week is so amazing!
You have no idea what that does for you mentally.
You get the groceries you need for the week (saves money).
As soon as you wake up, you know what you’re making.
For lunch, no need to search in the fridge to come up with the weirdest combo.
Dinner doesn’t have to be a drag anymore.
Try out a menu!
No need to go out and spend money, you get relaxed in the comfort of your own home.
Use those amazing bath bombs, take an hour tub time.
Do your nails, hair, eyebrows, wax.
All while listening to some of your favorite oldies and drinking wine.
You need to prioritize time for yourself. I can’t stress this enough!
Ladies, we are some emotional, passionate and loving creatures to ever live on this Earth.
We feel so many different emotions throughout the day.
Many moments throughout our week will make us think beyond what we were taught to know.
With that being said, write.
Keep a journal or even a daily calendar and write away.
Write on paper, exactly how you feel today?
It’s funny because that question sounds like such an easy question.
Most of us would answer, “good” or “fine”.
But writing has such a different effect.
Not to mention, the greatest reflection is realizing how much you truly love your
children, your significant other and your life.
You write about the things that make you laugh, mad, cry.
It’s great for your soul.
You’ll know what I mean.