Is he the sweetest man in the world but can be a bit insecure?
He’s the most loving man you met, but he can be a bit controlling?
He would be so perfect if it wasn’t for his insecurities, right?
Some woman can’t stand this!
As no woman should stand it.
However, he does everything else right?
Sure he gets insecure with the smallest things.
Sure, it does get annoying having to prove yourself.
But is that what it takes? Or is that gone too far?
You see, I believe there is such a fine line to this topic.
I believe there is two types of insecure men.
one– psycho insecure man who is obsessed, controlling, verbally & mentally abusive.
two– regular insecure man who had a bad experience or even childhood.
What I’m discussing about is INSECURE #2.
Is it fair to leave a man who loves you deeply, for how he was raised by his mother?
Is it fair to leave a man who adores you, because of past trauma?
There was a couple who loved each other so much! She took care of him, everyone saw. He loved her with everything he had and everyone around felt it. This man was a very secure person around people. He had a great paying job, a beautiful wife, gorgeous kids, great car and amazing home. He’s even traveled all around the world for ten plus years!
However, when it came to her…he was so insecure.
He grew up in a not so great environment and didn’t have the best family to help build his self-esteem. To top it off he was heart-broken by his first love. His insecurity level was at an all time low.
His wife understood him.
She would make him feel secure any chance she got. I bet she felt annoyed from time to time. She sometimes had to go out of her way to make him feel at ease. Is that building their trust? Or is it just too much?
With time and of course patience, they have built that trust and understanding they always wanted. He is in love with her more now than ever before because of the patience, the sacrifice and love she had for him. She wanted him just as much and she did what she felt she had to do.
I know this title says husbands. But how many women have gone through a horrible break up/divorce? How does it feel when getting into another one? Scary, right? That man pretty much has to build something that another man destroyed so carelessly. Is this fair? Or is time and patience what it takes to get the key to your broken heart again? Because you WILL NOT get hurt again!
Does it work both ways?
Go That EXTRA MILE For Your JEALOUS Husband!
ONE – COMPLEMENT WITH TOUCH
That’s right! “You look nice” doesn’t cut it anymore. Say the same comment with a squeeze somewhere! Touching and feeling is such a great way to connect and feel one another. Try touching random places like their neck, ears, wrist, chest. You get the point. You would be amazed what these 5 second moments do for someone.
TWO – REASSURE THEM WITH YOUR WORDS
Almost like number one. However, this is much deeper. This is what you do: Hold them and look straight into their eyes and give them words of security. This is not a conversation. Tell them how you can’t imagine life without them, you love everything about this person or even you look so damn sexy! Any words of security is what this person needs to feel loved again. Better yet, feel the REAL love for the first time.
THREE – WHEN INSECURITIES RESURFACE
There will still be moments here and there. That’s okay. Before reacting, take a deep breath. Remind yourself that this is NOT worth risking the relationship. You are here to HELP them break out of it. And actually this is something you can tell them. “Sweetie this is nothing to argue over, I love you too much!” A lot of people make a situation 100 times bigger than what it needs to be and it’s all because of reaction. Learn to take a deep breath and a step back.
FOUR – MAKE TIME
This is no surprise. Some people just need to feel that EXTRA love. The EXTRA effort. It’s important. Make time to go on dates, to send flowers, buy random gift and even make time for the bedroom. Invest in your relationship.
FIVE – BECAUSE YOU WANT TO NOT BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO
Like I said earlier, it can be draining for the person dealing with it. It can. However, if you already have that mind state of “I’m only doing this to show you” then you are going to be very unhappy and these steps will probably not work for you because your heart is not in it. This will not be a change over night, but a change with time. Actions speak louder than words. Go that extra mile because YOU WANT to.
SIX – HOLD HANDS
I know this seems middle school, but it’s important. Just remember how you felt holding his hand for the first time. Just to remind you, it was probably done in public, not behind closed doors. The reason why is because it is a symbol of love, unity and title. You WANTED to show the world who you’re with! With years, many couples forget about this small gesture because ultimately, we get comfortable. But it’s important. Bring back those butterflies. Show your partner that you are PROUD to be with them!
SEVEN – COMMUNICATION
I know this is a given, but it’s the #1 problem in relationships. Everyone speaks and understand differently. It is our job as wives and husbands to understand and create our own language with each other. It takes time of course, but this is how important it is. Keep each other in the loop. Learn to explain things differently. Try not to react all the time. Work on a friendship when communicating.
EIGHT – FIND A HOBBY TOGETHER
That’s right! You guys are best friends remember. Giving them that special bonding is priceless. Give them experiences AND FEELINGS that they’ve never had before. Show them that you are here for them!
NINE – PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
Most people will know where your spouses insecurities come from. People who are not happy with their own appearance for whatever reason will transcend into the relationship. Constantly giving them compliments is great. However if they have a certain reason for feeling insecure, make strong and secure comments about it to get them to ease up about it. Because eventually, if my man doesn’t care about my scar, I don’t care either!
TEN – PRACTICE GRATITUDE
My gratitude jar post is showing people how they can attract so much positivity into their lives with multiple things like love, money and opportunities. THIS can also be applied. Every night write on a small piece of paper, even a journal, about ONE thing you were grateful about your partner that day. It can be the smallest or most obvious thing. This will be a GAME CHANGER in your marriage!