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Did you know that the divorce rate is at 50% in the U.S?
That’s a pretty high number. 1 out of 2 couples will end up getting a divorce. How sure and secure is that?
I must say, marriage is not looked at the same way anymore. When S*^% hits the fan, people are so quick to ask for a divorce.
It all has to do with not understanding the true meaning of marriage from the very beginning. Maybe if people knew the depth of marriage, there wouldn’t be a high rate in divorces.
The secret I recently learned about marriage is that it’s not about love, good times and a happily ever after. It is actually the complete opposite.
That’s actually the reason why people are getting so many divorces. They think marriage means JUST THAT. And that’s wrong. So you already set yourself up for failure.
When you marry, you are making a commitment to a person to get through all the bad moments in life together. The sunny days are a given, can you make it through the hurricane, earthquakes and floods?
Now don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some bad moments that are not worth getting through for me, like being:
Those are my only two reasons for leaving. The reason why is very simple. Respect.
You have to understand that marriage is not about love. Remember, that’s a given. You don’t marry because you’re happy or in love. That’s silly. You marry, to become one through the bad.
We have both grown apart so slowly within all these years that we haven’t noticed. We have gone through the motions. They stopped becoming actions and became repeatedly motions. Everyday is the same with you. I never even noticed he gained weight, lost weight, shaved his beard, wearing a new shirt. He hasn’t mentioned my new necklace, the new nightstand or my hair. Where has my attention been? Where has his attention been? That we lost focus on what should matter the most. Our team.
The physical touch does wonders. But we all know this. We used to use it to persuade, comfort and love one another once. But then a long the way, we got comfortable. Which is not a bad thing because we want love to be comfortable, but it’s another thing not showing it. What can you do to physically show him you love him? Hold hands, squeeze a little tighter on your hug today, text him or make him a lucky man tonight. Whatever. The point is, you need to realize that you can go much farther by using your magic touch!
Can you remember the moment you knew he was the one? Can you remember the moment you fell in love? Here’s a secret, it may take a few days to recollect. Think of all the reasons and all the moments that made you fall in love. How was your spouse that you just adored so much? Today, what’s the difference? What did he stop doing that made him happy? What about you? If we forget about what makes us happy in life, why would we notice someone else’s. What can you do to help remind him of how it used to be? Or what could be?
When is the last time you meant it? I know we mean all of our “I love you” but I am asking when did you intentionally mean it with all of your heart? Again, we have just been going through the motions. It’s almost like we are certain that we will see them later on today. Crazy thing is we are not certain to say the least! Can you imagine how life would be then? So the next time, pause and hold that hug for a little bit longer, squeeze a little tighter and close your eyes. Then say, “I LOVE YOU.”
Life is life. We all have some sort of responsibility. Sometimes, responsibilities make us forget about our real purpose, about true priorities or even relationships. You either have responsibilities that help you grow or responsibilities that distract you. Now it’s time to get away together, away from all the distractions. Enjoy the reconnection.
They are the first unseen gesture to go. How did we feel when receiving a compliment? On top of the world, right? To me, a compliment is a sign of recognition. This almost ties in to number one, if you pay attention, then you recognize things, if you recognize certain things, you will speak upon it. How many times do we change our hair for them not to notice? How many times does he wear a new shirt and we don’t notice? How can we compliment if we’re not paying attention?
This is the most important and my favorite! I talk about it more on a self-esteem level here, 7 reasons why you feel so ugly! I’m going to keep it simple here, you cannot love others when you don’t even love yourself. Yeah yeah, we have all heard this before, I’m sure. But think about it this way. You are a big tree, and the branches sticking out are your family and friends. Some branches have beautiful flowers and fruit growing from it while others do not. What do you think would happen if this big tree of which we are talking about, starts falling apart? You stop feeding it water. Your tree would not be LIVING! If the tree suffers, obviously, so does the branches, flowers and fruit. Can you see where I am going with this? You are responsible for taking care of yourself first before you can even say you love others.
What about you? Can you relate to any of these reasons here? Maybe you have a whole other reason, I would love to hear it!
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